8:50 am Arrive at work. Check email and find two from my pseudo crush at work. Fantasize that he is emailing to inform me that he has been in love with me since the first time we locked eyes in March.
8:54 am Realize both emails are about work. Drown my sorrows in a bowl of fiber one cereal.
9:30 Show co-workers gchat conversation with Lawyer from Long Island. They tell me I am paranoid and because the conversation did not include the words "knife," "dark alley," or "I am going to kill you," I have nothing to worry about. Hhmmph.
10:17 am Oh.my.gosh. my pseudo crush is right by my desk. I panic and instead of saying some cute and clever I say, “Hi, uh how are you? don’t you think it kinda smells like beer in here?” Whaaaaaaaaaat?? He attempts a reply and walks away.
10:24 am Feel nauseated and have realization I may end up an incense burning spinster with cats. And I hate cats.
12:11 pm I saw David Blaine NOT hanging up side down. Faker.
1:15 pm Go to deli/market for lunch. Consider the fact the sandwich man might be a 6 out of 10 instead of a 4. Realize I am wearing my "single goggles;" do those exist?
3:47 pm My co-worker reads me my horoscope for today: "You will encounter a strange man." I wish I was kidding.