Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Scategories

1. Gchatting ensues
A. before a date
B. during a date (on your blackberry)
C. after a date

Today the answer was A., when Lawyer from Long Island and I gchatted for the first time.

2. The internet makes people
A. be extremely polite and shy away from inappropriate comments
B. say things they most likely would not in person
C. say things that make their desirability as a blind date plummet to near negative proportion

The correct answer for my situation would be C., when Lawyer from Long Island (LLI) attempted to amaze me with his dazzling wit, and instead instilled in me the idea that he could quite possibly be certifiably crazy.

3. When gchatting with a girl with whom you have a blind date the next day it is smart to say:
A. "Gee wiz, I can't wait til our date tomorrow night. I'm going to take you out and really treat you like a lady."
B. "You want a total package appeal? In that case, to save you the trouble, I'll let you know I have a very good package. No need to stress about that."
C. "I should be seeing your apartment after a conversation like this."

If you answered B and C, you apparently play by the same dating rules as LLI.

He then asks me "so, anything I should know...what are you thinking :)" (I hate smiley faces). Elaine* says, "this is code speak for, 'do you enjoy random sex?'" I tell him I will let him know what I am thinking tomorrow, once I make my own judgment -- "I judge as a hobby," I say. "Wow, you don't get out much, eh? :) What will the categories be?" he asks. The sticky rotten sweetness of attempted flirting gone bad is seeping through my computer screen, making me nauseous. I don't get out much!!! I want to scream. You put an add on Craig's List!!!

Tomorrow will be interesting. If he shows...

3 comments:

DatingGirl said...

Lawyer from Long Island just called -- right after I posted this!! I didn't answer, because I never answer numbers I don't know, but he then gchatted me and said, "I just called you."

I said, "why...?"

"To talk."

"Umm, but we'll talk tomorrow..."

"But I want to put a voice to a face, now."


Elaine* told me to wear a tag on my toe because he sounds like a serial killer.

Emily said...

haha wait, we still refer to male genitalia as a "package"?? -- and here I was thinking that term of endearment was reserved solely for porn...

Lauren said...

I am honestly scared for your life, I don't care what your co-workers think. I am going to be texting you and calling you to make sure you are alive. I will leave my own birthday dinner to come save your life!!!