Thursday, July 16, 2009

Weddings: Best Pickup Spot of the Summer?

Elaine* recently met her new lovah (yes, I'm calling you out Elaine*, but at least I'm not calling him your boyfriend) at her college roommate's wedding in June. They met the night of the rehersal dinner, hung out all weekend and the following week while she was still back in our hometown where he lives, and now they lovey-dovey talk every night.

She is not the first to meet a lovah, or boyfriend for that matter, at a wedding. What's up with this? Is it because everyone is happy and thinking about love at weddings? One would think that some guys would be scared and thinking about, to use a Tolkienian phrase, "the end of all things." But it seems not. So, WTF, friends. When is the first wedding?? As of now, I don't have one on the calendar until 2011. And by then I will already be old and ready to buy cats, get an apartment in Chinatown, and call it a day. So let's get this ball rolling.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

To Tweet or Not to Tweet, That is the Question

I'm not on twitter, yo. Although I've moved from hating on it to simply being scared of it, perchance I shall join soon. I'm scared that once I put myself on there and start saying things like, "Hey, I just ate a footlong subway sandwich. It had too many banana peppers," people will stop taking me seriously. When do we reach the point of too many updates?

On another note, I saw a really cute guy in the elevator of my building today. I have decided the elevator is a perfectly good place to talk to strangers because you can say things like, "Great weather. Well, have a nice day," therefore laying the flirting ground work and taking note of what floor they work on in order to secretly stalk them. Although the cute guy I saw today was wearing Dockers. I think Dockers are only for children under 9 years old or senior citizens.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Oh yeah, that

I was just looking down at some old posts and realized I forgot to follow up on the date my friend Billie* was trying to set me up on. I told this guy, Chad*, I would be out of town for 3 weekends and apparently he couldn't go out during the week. So, we'd have to wait to go out for awhile -- old school courting style.

I texted him when I got back from my trip and we should grab a drink. No response. So I decided, what the hell, I'll text again, this is Billie's friend. I finally recieve a text saying this: "Hi, sorry for the late response. I'd really love to go out with you, but it turns out I'm seeing someone else."

It turns out?? Like, he just discovered it? I didn't even have a chance to reject this guy because it 'turns out' he was seeing someone. Great.

I'm just going to be honest here. When I said I got off okcupid, like, 3 months ago, I lied. I was only shamed by the fact that I was not receiving as many messages as my friends who were on there, and therefore wanted to save face. And to my credit, many friends agreed that my humor does not translate well online (saying things like 'ever had lice?' really requires hearing one's voice intonation). But after my sister ending up meeting a pseudo-boyfriend on okcupid, I decided perhaps it was time to through my skepticism and bitterness to the wind and put myself out there, or on there, as it were.

So I have been responding to the messages I get now -- NOT sending any messages off right. Lets get that one thing clear -- I'm not that ballsy. Long story short, I have a date this Saturday! From his description my co-worker and I have decided he is the "nerdy athletic type." You know what I mean: glasses, bad shoes, always wearing some sports apparel t-shirt, and some brand of bad jeans, oh, and usually a bowl cut. But, its a date and I'm going to give it a shot. Hopefully he is actually 24 and not 42. And we are going to meet in a public place. And if I know his type, he is definitely not going to order a pomegrante martini.