Wednesday, February 25, 2009


I like to have what I call a "walking song." Its my song of the day(s) that I put on when I'm getting dressed and then I probably play it again on the subway and then maybe again walking to work. The past two days that has been "Dirty Ice Cream" by Lady Gaga. I was also playing it at the gym last night when I made intense eye contact with a serious Sean Penn look-alike on the treadmill across from me and almost ran off the side in an after effect. He was not impressed.

Anyways, I think I am continuing to listen to it because I am perplexed by the lyrics. I just found myself on the "haus of Gaga" blog trying to see if I could find something to help me decipher them, and that's when I knew I had to stop. I'm sure it means something dirty that I am just too naive to know about (like when my Dad told me to get the HPV vaccine and I said, hmm, what's HPV? awkward...). So, an excerpt of the lyrics are below. If anyone can help me out with the meaning, I would be so happy!! Oh, and as an aside, I am getting off It has not only not gotten me any dates, but it has lowered my self-esteem due to the ratio of creepy to cute guys that message me.

"But we've only been on one date, baby
Yeah, I know it was fun till you start acting crazy
I don't really find it very cute or sexy
When you call or incessantly, t-t-text me

Don't be dirty ice cream, baby
We could fall in love but it's too early to be calling me like that
Stop calling, stop calling
It's not indecision, just my female intuition
Telling me you can't be calling me like that
Stop calling, stop callin"

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dirty entertainment

I hate to give you these, mainly because it makes me look horribly boring (or at least lacking in STDs...not a bad thing...), but they are so entertaining!! I promise you can't read just one...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

Happy Presidents Day week! February 17th means two glorious things for me: I had the day off yesterday and I survived Valentine's Day. Not that I was really that worried about being depressed on Valentine's Day, seeing that last year was the first year I ever had a boyfriend to celebrate the Hallmark holiday with. For me, Valentine's is more of just a general singleness-depression time. Suddenly you are surrounded by couples coming out of the woodwork; just like when it gets warm outside and you notice all the pregnant people, yuck.

Trying to avoid public places last Saturday night, I decided to babysit -- don't be jelly. When I came home, I starting eating chocolate chip cookies and dipping them in milk while watching Saturday Night Live. Seth Meyers, my future-husband, was doing Weekend Update. "Today is Valentine's Day," he announced, "and to all of you watching this at home alone, better luck next year!" (bad um ching!) I looked around. Yep, just me here on the couch. Damn you, Seth Meyers.

I'm sure everyone will be interested to know I have progressed, ever so slightly, in my online dating endeavors. That means, I took my co-worker's advice and posted a sorta slutty picture and have now received some seriously creepy messages. Go figure. Upside of the site, there is a feature called "quick match" where you can simply look at people's profiles and rate them on looks alone - 1-5 stars. Let me tell you, this judging people is super entertaining and time consuming. Long story short, I have ignored any human contact on okcupid, however I have e-judged at least 75 people. I haven't been on facebook in ages!

Saturday, February 7, 2009


So I have been getting some flack because I have not written anything recently. Let me tell you, (sniffle), it hurts me worse than it hurts you! Look, New York winters are brutal!!! The high here was 20 yesterday, for crying out loud??!! I mean come on. That means if any part of your body is exposed to the whipping wind and cold air, you will probably die. Or that is my translation of the weather report.

This is what New York winters make me want to do:
- stay under my covers. (forever?)
- stay in my apartment wearing matching PJ's and eating takeout Chinese and flip back and forth between Anchorman and Napoleon Dynamite on tv (oh wait...I did that last Saturday...)
- eat constantly in order to grow an extra layer of fat on my body for warmth (its science!)
- not shave my legs (umm...)

Have we seen any of these adding up to hot dates? Especially that last one there... Anyway, winters make it hard for me to get off my butt out there and be social. And lets be honest, I have to really want to take my clothes off when the low is -1 and it feels like -15.

HOWEVER...I have electronically attempted to solve this problem for myself. That's right folks, last night I signed up for FREE ONLINE DATING! Not what you were expecting? Its hard times - is way too expensive. The peeps at are in the know. I made a profile last night (fo free!) and they sent me a confirmation email today saying:
Your personality:really great
How bad OkCupid guys want you: so bad
Your profile, as of 8 milliseconds ago:a apppproved!

Who can say no to that? So, now I can sit at home when it is -200 and eat Chinese food and still meet boys! Ok, well you get my point. Wish me luck!