Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Your search has yielded one million confusing results

Have you seen that new T-Mobile commercial for the G1 phone? Its the one where they do tiny vingettes of people asking really random questions like, "Do sharks have eyelids?" and, "What is my carbon footprint?" T-Mobile wants you to think that if you buy a G1 phone, you will be able to answer tough questions such as these with the push of a few buttons. This commercial always entertains me. Maybe its because I am curious and like to know the answer to such questions, or perhaps it is that I know it will take at least 5 google searches to come up with a satisfying answer, and in the end you may actually never find what you are looking for.

Finding the answer to questions in the realm of dating is a little like googling. You have to sort through all the crap, apply your best judgment, and in the end, use what you've got to come up with the most logical and correct answer to the question.

For example, "Reasons why the Venezuelan never called," would be an appropriate googledate search. (Of course the first answer would come from wikipedia: we all know to take answers from wikipedia with a grain of salt — one of my Art History professors in college was listed as deceased — needless to say, he was not.) "Reasons why Miguel*, the Venezuelan, may not have called you after your date ("date" is defined as when a pair can meet and engage socially) comes down to an amalgamation of your actions. While you made a good impression the first time, the second time, your binge drinking, purloining of a pleather jacket and all around sketchiness led him to believe you might be on the train to Crazy." Dangit, if its on wikipedia its probably 90% true. "The Venezuelan did not call because we have discovered he is totally Penelope Cruz's baby daddy!!" Page Six tells me. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That's why he hasn't called, you hussy!" I read on a blog. Hey, that sounds familiar...ahhh...the author of nevercallboystheywillnotrespectyou.blogspot.com is really my best friend's mother.

With all these possible answers, what the heck am I supposed to think? I guess when it comes down to dating, I can overanyalze every action I made, I can go with the stock "Hes just not that into you," or simply realize, if he doesn't call, it is totally his loss.

1 comment:

Louise said...

i'm with you. his loss. and i love the shout out to kim!