The Jim and Pam Effect

I'm really not a proponent of s**ting where I eat.  Date a neighbor? No thanks.  Date a coworker? Even worse idea.

That said, something interesting happened at my holiday party last week...

Standing in line at the buffet table, my boss, in line behind me, started in, as usual, "Make sure you keep an eye out for any single guys.  You never know, there could be some untapped gems we don't know about."

Standing in line in front of me was Paul*, a cute guy from a different department who I'm friendly with, but also happen to know has a girlfriend.

"Wait," Paul said,  "I thought you were married...?"

"Um, no, definitely not."

"So you mean to tell me I could have been asking you out this whole time?" Paul says, with a wink.

Skkkkkeeerrdddttt [sound of car slamming on breaks].

"Um, well, ah, I mean you have a girlfriend and I'm 'married' apparently so...." I stammered, awkwardly, heaving 2 tons of corned beef on my plate just to keep busy.

"I'm seeing someone.  That's it," Paul said

What!? First, how do I give off the 'married vibe' at work? Maybe that's a good thing? Second, is he asking me out?

Paul and I ended up walking from the party to the subway together where he consequently told me he really didn't think things were going to work out with said "girlfriend" and that he would see me soon.

But what I am supposed to do with this information? Elaine* reminded me that most NYTimes wedding announcements do begin with "At the time they met, the groom was seeing someone, but quickly broke it off once he met the his now wife."

A couple facebook messages have now been traded.  I'll let you know where this goes...

How Dating is Like Job Searching

Look, I know I'm not the first to make this comparison.  But let's be frank, the comparisons between looking for your future soulmate and your future perfect career are uncanny.  Just the other day, I was email-networking with a long-lost friend (Heyyy! so glad to hear you are in NY! We MUST have lunch...) when I realized I wasn't sure if I was emailing her for potential job leads or potential single suitors.  I really didn't know what was the better favor was to ask of her. It is a truly gray area.

Let me list for you the top 3 reasons job searching and dating are so freakily similar:

 1. Trolling the internet for hours is good for research, but probably will not lead to your next opportunity.  Oh, you found out your old college roommate knows someone how knows someone who works for your dream company? Nice, send that email. Or equally, your friend is now friends on Facebook with a mysterious and attractive seemingly employed, not living at home, cutie? Hit her up for the intro! Buuut...You cold emailed the CEO? Sorry, most likely* not going to happen.  You facebook messaged a dude you don't know because you thought he was cute? Stalker.* (*caveat- there are cases where this has worked, and can be read about here).

2. If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.  You sent your resume and cover letter off and are being offered a job 3 days later? Smells desperate.  You haven't even met blind date and he's already bought tickets for you all to go to Coachella in 2013? No, sorry.

3.  And my favorite, the "flood the market" and "throw a bunch of stuff at the wall and see what sticks principle of economics."  If you send enough resumes, have enough coffees, Link enough people In, go on enough blind dates, create enough online dating profiles, you will end up with something.  Its science, people.